redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
