I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I touched a dick in church today
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
