why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
