your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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