you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
