The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
