Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Houston, we have a squirter
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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