I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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