I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
