At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
