it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
