thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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