Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
