Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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