you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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