My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
