i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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