it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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