yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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