I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
This is classic penis vs brain.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
