Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
whose ass print is on the piano?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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