East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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