I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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