she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
