I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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