and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
