Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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