i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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