i may or may not be watching the land before time
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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