Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
