yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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