laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
