Please, let me fuck your mom
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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