She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
