Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize