I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
