I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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