Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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