anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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