bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Randomize
