i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
