You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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