clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
