Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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