I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
