I like to think it a success when the cops are called
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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