Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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