Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
