You're completely useless in the revolution.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
