Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
