$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
