I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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