You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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