i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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